Like a Lady...or Maybe Not

Hey, it's Lynda. I started last night with high hopes. I was going to wake up early, do my hair and makeup after I showered and go to work looking like the cute young adult Kara and I agreed we would be. Ok...so that was the dream. The reality? I rolled out of bed at 9:30, showered but didn't wash my hair, put Moroccan Oil on it so that it would smell good, moisturized my face and did my make up, and drove blurry eyed and exhausted to work. Now I sit at Kara's dining room table flicking her off as she takes picture after picture of me with her fancy digital camera.

I know, I know. Flipping the bird is not a lady-like gesture. I suppose the Maryland sweatshirt and dirty jeans I wore today weren't very lady-like either. Alright, neither are the fleece pants from college I am currently sporting. It's just a weird day - my brain is working about 10 minutes slower than it should and I just heard from my college sweetheart. Only there wasn't very much sweet about us when we were together. Kara thinks we ought to create another becoming a lady rule - no ex boyfriends.

It's not like there is something wrong with me. I mean, I am heavy thanks to issues I won't get into right now. Although I won't win any beauty contests, I am cute. I definitely don't need a paper bag over my head. But I am not the girl that attracts the attention of guys, or at least not often. And I have this horrible habit of dating the guys that are attracted to me whether or not I like them because I think it is as good as it gets.

Did I mentioned I moisturized my face today? That is a start, right? It is like the fourth day in a row. Goodbye dry forehead! Let's not talk about how I need to Nair my lip and haven't shaved my legs in over a week...k? Oh and no mention of the gingerbread waffles Kara made for dinner...

So here I sit, looking a hot mess with a head that is stuck in the past and a stomach full of delicious goodness that is only 450 calories a waffle. Like a lady? Maybe not today.