A Baby Step

It's Lynda. So I'm sorry I haven't written for a couple days (not that I think anyone but Gracie and Kara are reading this yet). I have actually be doing what we've been saying...well, mostly. I've shaved, plucked, and lotioned over the weekend. I got my hair did and have done it every day this week. I've even wore nice clothes and gave away most of my tshirts. This also means I haven't been wearing sweatshirts all the time.

Ok, so maybe a small improvement to my exterior. But I am learning that the real problem may not be my exterior. And I'm still trying to figure out the interior. How can you have the same fears and insecurities at 27 that you did at 17??

And after a message I received tonight - I think Kara may be right. Ex boyfriends are definitely not worth it. And they don't change after 3 years. It was fun to remind him of his girlfriend, though...

So is this a baby step? Maybe...

Love Us

Hello twenty seven!

Friends, today was a good day! I slept in, played hooky from my responsibilities. I spend the morning with two of the people I love most in this world, my husband and daughter. I talked to my close friend in New Mexico for most of the day, smiled at the messages I got about my birthday and just thought about how very lucky I am.
I had dinner with my family, my in-laws, my cousin Lynda, my bestie Robyn. It was heaven.

I got fun gifts, Lynda knows me well… she got me a boarders gift card. Robyn got me the twilight soundtrack and my in-laws an amazing coat.

I feel blessed. I feel like God has given me so much.

Now for the day: I did my hair! I dressed up. I felt fun, fab and twenty seven. The thing is, it doesn’t matter. I know that. It doesn’t matter that I look great, because that isn’t what made me feel beautiful today. It was the love I got from my friends and family. It was the phone calls and the facebook messages. It was all of that.

I think part of me finding my style, and becoming a lady is about also becoming the person on the inside I want to be. I am not always a good person. I fail. I can be mean and cruel. Why? Life is just so short and here I am adding hurt to a crying world.

I read Lynda’s post, and felt for her. Opening up like that can be hard. I think she has a pretty face. I think she has a beautiful soul. Honestly who needs to be more than that?

Anyway, I owe you all ex rules, but you know what, right now I want to do something for Lynda and I. Not only is this 27 years of me but it is 27 years of being cousins.

Here’s to beautiful lives.









Yours,
Kara

Stupid Girl

Lynda here. So let me start by saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KARA!!!! Here I sit again at Kara's dining room table. In all honesty, this is rare - Kara and I don't usually hang out this much. But because it is her birthday and because she is borrowing my computer cord while she waits for her new one, I am currently here. Not like I really have anywhere else to be.

So tomorrow night we are going out to celebrate Kara's birthday. She has designated it "Cougar Night." No ideas what it means to dress like a cougar, but I guess I will figure that one out. Let's just say I'm not super excited about going out. Something I find is usually fun in theory but not practice. I always feel so out of place. I'm the fat girl. The girl who doesn't always have enough room to get into the car without hitting the one next to it and the girl who has to sit in the front seat when the car is full because there is more room. I'm the girl whose thigh is touching yours on the airplane and the girl everyone says has "such a pretty face."

You think I choose to be this way? Yes, I choose to wake up every morning and think every girl that walks by me is better than me. I choose to stare at my closet for hours, hating myself because half the clothes don't fit anymore. I chose to take that damn medication and gain fifty lbs because without it - there is a good chance I would not have gotten well if I hadn't. But you don't see that truth when you judge me. You don't see that I had to make a choice - my life or my body and I chose my life. All you see is that fat girl with the pretty face.

Am I going out tomorrow? Yes. Why, you are probably asking yourself. The answer is simple - our blog is about changing yourself. It is about confronting those demons to become a better version of yourself. There is of course a chance I will wake up tomorrow feeling confident and beautiful and have a blast.

I know what I have to do to lose weight but the food numbs you. It makes you so you can't feel the badness inside of you. You hate yourself for eating those cookies. But for a minute in time, those cookies make you not feel the hurt and the pain.

What have I done today to become a lady? Well I didn't do my hair. Maybe tomorrow. I haven't shaved my legs or naired my lip. But I did do my make up. And I did have a cute Banana Republic shirt on, even if it was hidden beneath my redskins fleece. And I moisturized and ate a salad for lunch. It was basically the only healthy thing I ate all day, but it tasted decent. After dinner with Kara the other night, I have found I really like raw spinach.

I've really contemplated whether or not to say these things. But the bottom line is this - if we are serious about this blog, it means letting you see the real us. To see our struggles and fears. And this blog, this feeling of inadequacy about sums up my life. I have survived 9 years of school post high school. I have a Ph.D. and a job at one of the most prestigious research institutes in the world. Yet, everyday I wake up wishing I could be that perfect girl I see in my head. Everyday I wonder if everyone will see that I am a fake. Stupid girl.

Wish Me a Happy Birthday

Did I say that I would start to be on time? Well guess what, looks like I lied. It is now my birthday and the blog I owed you yesterday is now officially two hours late.

I am twenty seven now. I do not feeling older, nor wiser but I feel like I have a fresh start. Like we can really make this blog work, that was can make this plan work. I know it.

So here is the recap of my day, though really it is yesterday. Forgive me, I am a work in progress.

I didn’t do much today, I had to take my daughter to school and sit through a parent meeting. I hit the snooze button over and over again. It left me no time to shower, really do my hair or put on make-up. I did wear a nice sweater and cute boots. At least it was the step in the right direction.

Mostly it was uneventful. I did trip on my own two feet and fell on my butt in the parking lot. Everyone saw me. I laughed it off, maybe I should learn to walk while I am working on being an adult.

From there my day was boring. I guess it is a sad way to end the last day of a year of your life. I feel strange. Like I can’t focus. I know I need to. Maybe tomorrow.
Anyway, I am twenty seven today. So wish me happy birthday and pray that tomorrow I force myself to start this new year of life right.

By the way, I think we do need to have rules about exes. I will work on them tomorrow.


Yours,
Kara

Like a Lady...or Maybe Not

Hey, it's Lynda. I started last night with high hopes. I was going to wake up early, do my hair and makeup after I showered and go to work looking like the cute young adult Kara and I agreed we would be. Ok...so that was the dream. The reality? I rolled out of bed at 9:30, showered but didn't wash my hair, put Moroccan Oil on it so that it would smell good, moisturized my face and did my make up, and drove blurry eyed and exhausted to work. Now I sit at Kara's dining room table flicking her off as she takes picture after picture of me with her fancy digital camera.

I know, I know. Flipping the bird is not a lady-like gesture. I suppose the Maryland sweatshirt and dirty jeans I wore today weren't very lady-like either. Alright, neither are the fleece pants from college I am currently sporting. It's just a weird day - my brain is working about 10 minutes slower than it should and I just heard from my college sweetheart. Only there wasn't very much sweet about us when we were together. Kara thinks we ought to create another becoming a lady rule - no ex boyfriends.

It's not like there is something wrong with me. I mean, I am heavy thanks to issues I won't get into right now. Although I won't win any beauty contests, I am cute. I definitely don't need a paper bag over my head. But I am not the girl that attracts the attention of guys, or at least not often. And I have this horrible habit of dating the guys that are attracted to me whether or not I like them because I think it is as good as it gets.

Did I mentioned I moisturized my face today? That is a start, right? It is like the fourth day in a row. Goodbye dry forehead! Let's not talk about how I need to Nair my lip and haven't shaved my legs in over a week...k? Oh and no mention of the gingerbread waffles Kara made for dinner...

So here I sit, looking a hot mess with a head that is stuck in the past and a stomach full of delicious goodness that is only 450 calories a waffle. Like a lady? Maybe not today.

Kara’s Beginning

Yikes. I am going to twenty seven. I can’t believe it. I will swear to anyone who asks that I was just a teenager worried about my first love and what to wear to prom.

Funny enough, I think I still dress and present myself like that seventeen year old girl. I was the girl who lived in ponytails and jeans… the girl who knew nothing about blow drying her hair or unique styles. The problem: I am still the girl, or I guess the proper term for me is woman.

I’ve had amazing life experiences; I’ve seen places that are beautiful. I’ve broken hearts and had my heart broken. I’ve met the man who really is my prince charming, perfect for me in everyway even if I will never admit it. I’ve been pregnant and had a beautiful little girl. I’ve battled through having a NICU baby, a child with delays, the hardships that come with being a stay at home mom in a place where twenty-something’s aren’t even thinking about marriage let alone babies. And here I am still in the same old clothes.

So when my cousin Lynda, who you heard from, started to discuss New Years resolutions we made a pact. (We know it is past New Years, so maybe in our journey to dress and act like adults we can also work on doing things on time, but that might be a hopeless cause.) What was our pact? To find our own style. Our own adult style. We will become healthy and happy adults who look the part. No more forgetting to put face cream on at night. No more opting to catch a few more moments of sleep instead of taking time to do, or even brush, our hair.

Maybe for most people, this seems silly. Why would two women not be doing this already? And if we aren’t why can’t we be happy the way we are? Well to be honest, why not do this? Style icons are icons not because of their clothes but because they found something through clothing to express who they are. It is a way of being proud of who you are, where you came from and where you plan to go.

I read a quote the other day that said: Trends may come and go but true love is never out of fashion.

Well here’s to a true type of love, the love of self. Here’s to our one year journey, and the many surprises that may come.

Wish us luck, we will need it.

Yours,

Kara

So Our Journey Begins...

Hi! This is Lynda. So the other night, Kara and I were sitting around talking about how unlady-like we are. Or, as my friends in Birmingham used to say, I am the best dressed bum they know. Does it count that your t-shirt is Lucky and your purse is Coach when you are wearing sweatpants and your hair hasn't seen a brush in three days? =)

Anyways, we were talking about how we want to start dressing nicer, doing our makeup and our hair. This progressed into losing weight and eating healthy. And we came up with a plan - we were going to become ladies. With me already 27, and Kara reaching the milestone in two days, it seems like the perfect plan.

I mentioned to Kara that I thought we should have a blog - a place where, in true Julie and Julia style, we can share our struggles and accomplishments on our way to becoming perfect models of today's woman. Turning to Train's Meet Virginia for motivation, Heels While Exercising was born. The goal? One year to completely turn ourselves around.

So a little bit about me - I am a medical researcher who spends more times with cells than I do people. No boyfriends. Just moved to where I live 7 months ago, so very few friends. I find the longer I am in the lab, the more socially awkward I get. I used to be cute and social. Now I'm a bit squiggly around the edges. =P This challenge is more about becoming a better version of myself, a happier or at least more content version than it is about finding a boyfriend. Let the journey begin!